Don’t be afraid
By Liane Kaneko
to join in the funI'VE gone to the Peer Education Program leadership camp for two years and the camp has been basically the same both years. The only thing that changed was me. Camp is full of fun and silly games and projects which end up teaching students how to become good leaders.
I attended the camp for the first time as a junior and I didn't want to participate in situations such as getting up in front of everyone and doing a skit about what it's like going to Castle High.
I didn't want to "make A" in front of the seniors. I was afraid they'd think I was dumb and I knew I'd be embarrassed. I did the skit anyway, but I felt so stupid in the process.
This year was different. I'm the senior now. I still felt silly in the beginning, but really started to enjoy myself.
When I think about last year, I realize I missed out on a lot of the fun. If only I had been more enthusiastic. With everyone participating -- and maybe feeling equally stupid -- they probably were too caught up in what they were doing to care much about what I was doing.
I wish I had realized this even earlier, like in my freshman year.
There were things I missed throughout high school just because I was too chicken to try something new.
When going to dances, for instance, I never really danced to the fast, upbeat songs. Only to slow ones. I admit it was really boring waiting for those one or two slow songs while watching everyone else have fun.
I wanted to dance to the fast songs, but I worried that other people would laugh at me. Don't think it doesn't happen. Remember the episode of "Seinfeld" that showed Elaine dancing badly? Everyone was laughing behind her back, and she didn't even know it.
Because of my fear of dancing badly, I went to a sophomore banquet my freshman year and ended up sitting the whole time. My date didn't want to dance anyway, so we left early and went to McDonald's. I was bummed.
I never went to my own freshman banquet because I didn't have a date and my friends weren't going. How stupid of me. I shouldn't have passed on an experience like that for those reasons. I knew other people who went, and I could have made the best of it.
I tried to involve myself in other activities later, like performing in front of the school for homecoming. I wasn't the best dancer or the best-looking one, but the main thing was that I had fun. I didn't let the fear of not having my group of friends around me hold me back. I just made new friends and got closer to some old acquaintances.
NOW, as a senior, with my childhood slipping away, I can look back on these past three years with a little more insight.
What is high school really about?
Just like the TV commercial says, it's about having "school spirit and personal pride."
Having school spirit means getting involved. Being part of student council was something I really wanted to do. When I became a senator last year, it gave me confidence.
I also helped with the school paper for a year, and I'm now working with the yearbook staff.
At least now I can say I did these things, without forever wondering, "What if ...?"
There are a lot of things to do in high school that fit in with individual interests, whether you're into sports, music, science, student government or foreign languages.
If I had a chance to go through high school again, I would participate in a wider range of activities.
Down to my last year, I feel like there's so much to do and so little time.
Liane Kaneko is a senior at Castle High School. Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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