WHEN I walked into my dance class at the start of the semester, my expectations were ambivalent, but nothing prepared me for someone so inspiring as my instructor Gregg. Dance student learning
all the right movesIt's still a shock today that someone can have such an effect on me. From the start, he encouraged me to dream. He taught me that even though I'm not the best dancer, it's OK to pursue it.
He gave me the courage to try through the countless times he's helped me after class, tossing aside his paperwork to demonstrate a dance step in his office or helping me work through my fears and negative attitude.
His most courageous trait is his honesty. It showed up when he told me that I wasn't ready to advance to a higher level. I was so hurt and distraught. Why couldn't I advance? Why can't I just go in there and get out of school faster? Didn't he know how much advancing would mean to me?
However, when I sat down and thought about it, I came to the realization that he was being a true friend and advisor. A genuine friend wouldn't just say things to make me happy. An advisor wouldn't allow me to move on without the full comprehension of basic fundamentals. He wouldn't let me advance just because I wanted to.
But what he really made me understand is the meaning behind these words: "Sometimes you have to take a step backward in order to move two steps forward."
AT times I think that I'm not moving at all. I often feel frustrated, lonely, stupid and like a downright failure. Even though my grade was a C, I still felt so defeated. A chill ran through my body because I thought I was doing at least B work.
One shouldn't be just average in their major. If a person wants to into a particular field, it should be with a goal to excel and have something to show for it. At the rate I was going, I would be showing how uncoordinated and unmotivated I was.
But when Gregg pointed out what I was doing wrong, I realized that he was right. I wasn't picking up combinations or the simplest dance steps while coming across the floor. There was also no effort on my part to improve. I would just give up without trying and think that he didn't notice. These are the stupidest things I could have done, because the only way to learn is by trying and making mistakes.
I let others influence my life as well. At times it would be discouraging because people would say, "Why don't you stop? Why not pursue something you're good at? You can't get a job with a degree in dance. Stop wasting time and money."
A dance instructor at another college told me that I was terrible in movement, that I would never get past the beginning level, that I should stop taking up her time with questions. She said that I would never succeed. Why then, do I continue?
THE answer is every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning I walked into the classroom and watched Gregg dance. That alone is enough to inspire me to dream. And with similar love, commitment and passion I truly believe that in our own unique way, we can all dance in the heavens.
No words in this language can fully express the gratitude, admiration and respect I have, so I'll have to settle for: Thank you so much Gregg. For everything.
And for those who find themselves in a position where they are put down, don't lose sight of your ambitions, regardless of what people tell you.
Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to try again. And try not to let money and the fear of job security be an obstacle in your path. Because when you're committed to a dream that your heart finds precious, you will do your utmost to be successful at it. I've had some wonderful inspirations in life. I hope you will too.
Marleina Pang is 23 and attends the University of Hawaii
at Manoa. She plans to each modern and jazz dance
after receiving her B.F.A. degree in dance.Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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