By Ken Sakamoto, Star-Bulletin
Dressed for an outing in the park, our model mutt
wears a cap in Easter pastels, $9, and coordinating
booties to keep his paws clean, $20.
Dressing up animals is a custom with a long history. The actual start date is 31 B.C., when Cleopatra said to Mark Antony, "I think my asp needs warming. Maybe I'll wrap him in this blouse. Ouch!"
But in the last couple of years, pet wear has moved from under-the-counter to the front display window. You can get sweaters, shoes, hats, diapers, chain mail, all pet-sized, as if Poochie wasn't anthropomorphisized enough around the house.
We checked out Petland and Pet's Discount Warehouse, a couple of the larger pet stores, and picked the items shown here. (Yes, most of the animals are fake.)
"What sells the best - after the usual collars and leashes - slickers and sweaters. And people dress up their pets for parties and animal walks. I guess they're more fashion-conscious than they used to be, or the pets have become their children."
A few notations to keep in mind:
This is only a small sampling. There is lots of pet wear out there, and it's all priced somewhere between the low of a Kathie Lee Gifford sweatshop product and the high of Barbie toy clothes.
Virtually all of it is for dogs, and most of that is for small and medium-sized dogs. This is the principle of natural selection at its best. Small dogs are generally lap dogs, house dogs, pampered dogs. "The majority, you'll notice, are itty-bitty, frou-frou dogs," said Bonnie Batchelor, corporate manager at PDW. "It's a real attention-getter when you're walking your dog."
Some of it is designed to aid your pet in the great outdoors, and makes a certain amount of sense. Booties to protect his tender paws while hiking on a'a lava. A sunshade to keep him from squinting. In hiking areas that are zoned only for pack animals, a backpack so dogs can haul their own food. A camouflaged parka for when your dog is playing paintball.
Sweaters come in various sizes and shapes. A Royal Pet Designs sweater, for example, is $15.35 in a size 10.
Don't know your pet's size? The packages have a guide on the back, broken down by breeds. An airedale is a size 22; a chihuahua is a size 6 or 8. All you need to know is your dog's breed, and "poi" is not listed.
At Petland, visors run about $11; caps about $8; tank tops about $6; slickers about $13. Animal Clothiers makes a useful DayGlo road-crew vest for $21.45. Doggiduds flannel shirts run $24.69.
And the most inglorious accessory of all - fake bunny ears for about $12. Have your parents or your spouse ever tried to dress you as another species?
Back to the leather bomber jackets. What do dogs really think of leather? Do they admire the texture, the color, the suppleness of leather? Or do they think of leather as the package that hamburger comes in?