Sports Watch
Nebraska? I don't think the Cornhuskers can make it three in a row - not so much because Tommie Frazier's gone - but that bad boy Lawrence Phillips left Lincoln with his football gear and long police blotter. As in years past, Coach Tom Osborne won't win the big one.
No. 1? I'll go with the Florida Gators. Steve Spurrier will be the coach to win the big one this season. That will be in the Sugar Bowl.
It's anybody's guess who will be No. 1, but it's easy to pick an all-name team for 1996. It's one of my annual trivial pursuits.
Speed is important, so you have to begin with Mercury Hall (SMU), Jimmy Jett (Tulsa), Shawn Springs (Ohio State) and A.J. Gass (Fresno State).
Some guys you'd want playing defense: Markeith Spears (LSU), Lamont Gore (Maryland), Geoff Pierce (Washington State), Virgil Smothers (Southern), Phalen Pounds (USC) and Takeo Spikes (Auburn).
And some guys you wouldn't: Z Hodges (New Mexico), Fred Weary (Florida), Reggie Love (North Carolina), Richard Peace (Wyoming) and Jarvis Jolly (Middle Tennessee State).
Either way, you have to get them enrolled in school first. And the following probably had no problem with their SATs: Ty Wise (Miami), Greg Smart (San Jose State), Jamie Sharper (Virginia) and Duke Perfect (Iowa State).
If initials are your thing, you'd like K.O. Kealaluhi (BYU), D.J. Eliot (Wyoming), a running back named R.B. Bonner (San Jose State), K.C. Jones (Miami) and Hawaii's own C.B. Wentling. And then there's just plain J Ina of Miami, who has no period after the J. Unless you end a sentence with his first name.
GOLF'S my bag so catching my eye were Jeffrey Parr (Air Force), Julian Hooker (Wyoming), Rashod Swinger (Rutgers), Paul Driver (Oregon), Toriano Woods (Illinois), Jarrett Irons (Michigan) and Mike Sandy (Rutgers).
For the worldly, you have to like Connell Spain (Florida State), Kenya Crooks (Clemson), Morrocco Brown (N.C. State), Teheran Jones (Monmouth), Jamaican Dartez (Tulane) and Jeff Danish (Syracuse).
Dieting? Skip the following: Cameron Curry (Air Force), Michael Burger (Iowa), Daniel Franks (Miami), Derrick Ham (Miami), Kevin Bacon (Utah) and Chili Davis (New Mexico). If fish is your dish, try Nathan Trout (Syracuse), Kim Herring (Penn State), Sheldon Bass (Texas Tech) and Koi Woods (TCU).
Wouldn't you know it, the player with the best All Ivy League name - Cornell Brown of Virginia Tech - plays in the Big East.
Arizona's Dick Tomey might be on a roll with receivers named Mike Lucky and Richard Dice. If not, there's always teammate Chuck Rich to count on. But not Hicks Poor (Auburn) nor Andre Credit (Alcorn State).
IN the president's club are Gerald Ford (Duke) and Jimmy Carter (Kentucky), while making up the Jackson Five in the Western Athletic Conference are Marlyn (Fresno State), Joe (San Diego State), Je'Ney (Wyoming), Shan (Rice) and Artis (Utah).
The individual best names include Brahms Derenoncourt (Wyoming), Boogie Johnson (Oklahoma State), O'Shea Nero (Fresno State), Javelin Guidry (UCLA), DeReal Finklin (Vanderbilt), Sirr Parker (Texas A&M), former Pac-Five star Ink Aleaga (Washington) and, of course, Best Ihegboro (UTEP).
And coming to a stadium near you: Boston College's Stalin Colinet and Shalom Tolefree to open the UH football season and, to close it, Wisconsin's Cayetano Castro, who'll probably get a personal handshake from Governor Ben.
Finally, why is it that Ole Miss has an Orlando Trainer?